We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
