I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize