lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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