I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
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Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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