May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
