I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
