The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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