anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
