; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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