First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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