so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
