You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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