tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
