I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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