so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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