Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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