do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize