i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
