Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
