So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
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Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
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I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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