Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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