I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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