I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
