well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
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did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
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How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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