am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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