Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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