I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
