how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize