I heard we made out
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
