dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
