I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
