I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize