Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
