He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
