I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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