No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
