I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
