In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
