He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
