She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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