He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
