i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
