I cockslap morals
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
