LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
