she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We had sex on a dog bed..
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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