6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She's the barista slut.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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