so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
