all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
