Already got asked if we're dating
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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