Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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