imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
