We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
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You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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