I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
