Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
