shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
