They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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