she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
