he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
