Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
