Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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