Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
