My sheets look like a crime scene.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
