My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
