I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
