I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
