I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
