well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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