i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
