The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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